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The BIG Love Blog

Tips & Topics to B(l)oggle Your Mind!

Welcome to the BIG Love Blog! Here you will find actionable tips for some of the most common problems Erin’s clients overcome. One part principle, one part practical, you’ll gain valuable insight AND real-world strategies for overcoming the pain of your stickiest relationship struggles.

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All Experience is Generous. Yep. All of it.

All Experience is Generous. Yep. All of it.

By Erin Bentley
I wanted to begin my adventures in blogging talking about this notion that I’ve shared with clients from all walks of life – folks who’ve been able to honestly and powerfully step out of their ‘victim story’ by integrating this notion: all experience is generous. I’m suggesting that it’s not only the pleasurable or joyful …

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Naming the Un-nameable: How Fear of the Unfamiliar Keeps Us Stuck

Naming the Un-nameable: How Fear of the Unfamiliar Keeps Us Stuck

By Erin Bentley
One of the things I love most about my clients is their commitment to getting under the surface of whatever is troubling them about their lives. Whatever it is that they’re coming to me with, it’s not unusual that – by the time they find their way to my door – the relationship, job, problem, …

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From Cynics to Critics: Transforming Negativity in the World Around Us

From Cynics to Critics: Transforming Negativity in the World Around Us

By Erin Bentley
Recently, I noticed that a twitter chum had committed to a 21-Day, Complaint-Free Challenge. I immediately tweeted him with hearty, virtual pat on the back! This got me thinking about just how much of the content of conversations I hear each day focuses on gossip, complaining, criticizing, cynicism or otherwise filling the air (and our …

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12 Invitations for a New Year – Or, How About We Start 2012 Without Shame & Blame?

12 Invitations for a New Year – Or, How About We Start 2012 Without Shame & Blame?

By Erin Bentley
Recently, I saw an online article posted via Facebook that inspired me to post this blog for y’all. It was about things to stop doing if you want a life of fulfilling sunrises, great sex, mind-bending career opportunities, oodles of financial security, etc. Or something like that. Well, no, I didn’t like the blog. But …

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Why Your Communication Problem Isn’t the Problem

Why Your Communication Problem Isn’t the Problem

By Erin Bentley
Like most couples, my wife and I sometimes rehearse the same disagreements over and over again. If your relationship is anything like ours, you know there’s a familiar rhythm to these episodes. The conversation could be about money, the kid(s), or whose turn it is to take the dog out. The content of the disagreement …

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The Difference Between Change & Growth: Or, How Do You Spring Clean Your Relationships?

The Difference Between Change & Growth: Or, How Do You Spring Clean Your Relationships?

By Erin Bentley
The difference between change…and growth! Or…How do you ‘spring clean’ your relationships? (ANSWER: you don’t). You say, “What?”. Stay with me, now. Let’s face it: struggles in relationships are as common as, well…dirt! Worse, we exhaust ourselves trying to figure it all out alone. In my coaching work and seminars, I help folks who are just plain …

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The 3 Biggest Reasons Couples Collapse: Reason #3…

The 3 Biggest Reasons Couples Collapse: Reason #3…

By Erin Bentley
“I think this girl’s The One”, said my client. I nod, bearing in mind that he has said this about three different women during our previous coaching sessions. Later, I gently pointed out to my client that his enchantment with the enchantment of new relationships was holding him back from experiencing the remarkable growth, intimacy, …

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The 3 Biggest Reasons That Couples Collapse: Reason #2…

The 3 Biggest Reasons That Couples Collapse: Reason #2…

By Erin Bentley
Last week, I shared with you the 3rd biggest reason that couples collapse (if you missed it, click here). This week, I want to share the second biggest reason that relationships break down. Here’s a hint – to the average person, it looks something like this: “But I said I was sorry – why can’t …

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F.I.E.R.C.E. Relationships – A Manifesto

F.I.E.R.C.E. Relationships – A Manifesto

By Erin Bentley
fierce |fi(e)rs| showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity: s/he kissed her with a fierce, demanding passion. ORIGIN Middle English: from Old French fiers ‘fierce, brave, proud,’ from Latin ferus ‘untamed.’ I want to talk about the stuff that empowers heart-changing, soul-expressing, passion-growing human connection. I’m going to talk about these things because I want to …

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Part I – So Long Relationship Martyr, Hello B.I.G. Love

Part I – So Long Relationship Martyr, Hello B.I.G. Love

By Erin Bentley
If you’re reading this, I’m going to go out on a limb and make some assumptions about you. Ready? Okay. You possess a big, brassy heart. You want to breathe in beauty and exhale magic. You aspire to be a connoisseur of passionately crafted, joyous delight (all kinds). Your veins contain not blood, but equal …

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Part II – The #1 Thing Sabotaging Your Shot At The BIG Love (and how to turn it around for good!)

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Part II – The #1 Thing Sabotaging Your Shot At The BIG Love (and how to turn it around for good!)

By Erin Bentley
If you ever feel like you’re treated as though your needs don’t matter in relationship…you are in the right place, Dear One. If you sometimes experience a suspicion that while you’re taking care of everyone else, no one is thinking about your needs…tune in and turn on, Neighbour. If you sometimes run monologues in your …

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Stop The Press And Hold The Roses, Batman: There’s A Secret Ingredient To Lasting PASSION (hint: it’s not AA batteries)

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Stop The Press And Hold The Roses, Batman: There’s A Secret Ingredient To Lasting PASSION (hint: it’s not AA batteries)

By Erin Bentley
One of the most common complaints I hear in my private relationship coaching practice goes something like this: “I just wish we could be close again. It used to be so easy” Or, “Erin, we’re just not having sex anymore!”  You might think I hear the first one from mostly women and the second from …

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Why Stepping Back Could Be The ONLY Thing That Moves Your Relationship Forward

Why Stepping Back Could Be The ONLY Thing That Moves Your Relationship Forward

By Erin Bentley
Recently, a former coaching client of mine from, oh, maybe seven years ago was reminiscing about our work together. She said, “Your advice that I needed to step back in my relationship with my daughter – in order to make room for her to step forward – this completely changed my life. It completely changed …

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